The Simple Things and Happy Face Sweatshirts.

Growing up, we were never poor, we had what we needed, and a little of what we wanted, but finances were a struggle. My parents worked hard to save enough for us to take a nice family vacation together every year. We had a boat that we enjoyed many, many great days on, and we enjoyed dinners and other events out of the house here and there. As a single, working adult, it is all I can do to balance school, work, and the financial burden I call a vehicle (this is the bitter girl in me that would rather buy MAC than get my oil changed). I realize every time I have a sudden bill pop up- which always seems to be when I have something fun planned with "extra" money, how many times my parents came through for us last minute, when they probably had other ideas. I was more vocal about the things I wanted than my sister was. I would always have to ask for something when we would window shop, and looking back now I carry guilt about this. I don't have children, but I have a baby sister (okay, by baby I mean 23), but if I could buy that brat a house, car, and anything she ever wanted tomorrow I would, I just physically cannot. It makes me realize how many times my mother was stressed when I asked for something I needed, not wanted, and she was going to have rearrange some things to come through. But she always did. She always did.

This isn't about money, as much as it appears to be. I have a job now, a really, really good job, and I cannot count on both hands and feet how many times I have been before the Lord so grateful I can't find words in between my tears. I was taught to work, and work HARD, and I do. I have since I got my first job. I have worked three jobs at a time for years to put myself through college, until two years ago when God blessed me with the job I have now. It is not my forever, I am in school (masters program - shoot me now) but it could be, and I would be proud. I get paid more money than I ever, ever have, and trust me when I say I am beyond appreciative. I don't have to stress about paying bills, for the most part, and I am able, for the first time, to buy my school books on time. Something happened within me and I don't like it. I had extra money for the first time in my life and I had no problem spending it. Clothes and purses and shoes and trips and lunch dates and books and jewelry and make up. I am 26 years old, so I am cutting myself some slack, but it has been awhile since I have wanted something longer than I have owned it. When I was young, I would want a c.d. for three months leading up to getting it on Christmas. But let me tell you something, I listened to whatever c.d. it was I finally got until the thing wore itself blank. I will never forget in sixth grade when the happy face trend came back in. All the girls in my class were wearing sweatshirts with happy faces and peace signs on it, and I had already gotten my school clothes for the year prior to this trend coming in style. Christmas morning came and I was EXCITED. For good reason! I opened a maroon sweatshirt with a happy face painted on the front in puff paint. My mom had made me my very own happy face sweatshirt. I loved that thing more than I can even express in words, and I wore the heck out of it. It brings tears to my eyes right now thinking about my mom sitting up at night after I went to sleep to paint it. I know she was excited to make it for me, and I was excited to wear it. There are people reading this who probably haven't ever experienced financial struggle and are thinking this is pretty lame, but in all honesty, I feel more sorry for you than you should be feeling for me. Maybe your mother was able to buy you anything you wanted, and that is great for you, truly, but I wouldn't trade every piece of clothing on the rack for that sweatshirt. Ever.

I paid off my credit cards for the billionth time today, and God willing, through hard work and steely will power, I hope that is the last time. I began thinking about my finances, and of course started on the guilt train about the things I could have done with the money I have spent keeping that piece of plastic in my wallet. That is one pricey piece of plastic! I got to thinking about what I need....nothing. What do I want? What do I want?? Nothing you can buy in stores. I am realizing, really starting to get, how important the simple things are. Here are my simple things. I hope you take a minute to reflect and gain a whole new appreciation for yours.

I enjoy the fluffy bath mat on my bare feet when I am getting ready for work. It is freezing in the morning and that mat is the warmest, most comforting piece of fabric in the world.

I enjoy my television. I fall asleep to the sound of my Golden Girls every night. It is a little piece of Heaven.

I enjoy sitting on my porch with a cup of coffee. It lasts ten seconds because I am usually running late, but darn it if that isn't the nicest ten seconds of my day.

I enjoy a hot shower. I love that I am a grown up and I can take a thirty minute shower if I wanted too.

I absolutely ADORE my books. It is the most miss-matched random spectrum of classics mixed with poetry, muddled with comedic commentaries and everything in between, but I love it.

I love my candles. I love how nice my house smells. I have always loved walking into people's homes when they smell good and I love that my house is one of them.

I love running. I love running around the lake in Spring Valley and looking at all the people's beautiful homes and clearing my head while smelling that lake smell I fell in love with on my family's boat- and driving home to my house in Adelanto happier than when I left.

I love looking through old pictures and remembering what was going on and how I felt...I am one of those people that remembers every, single, little, thing about everything, so when I look at one photograph I can remember a three month time period in my life. Being as busy as  I have been the past few years, it is nice to sit and reflect on what fun times I have had.

I love conversation. Conversation is free, and nothing engages my soul like talking to someone who talks back. Learning about life through someone else's perspective is a past time I cherish. I am very lucky to have the people in life that I do to talk too.

I love reading my Bible. I love the smell of it, the sound of the pages turning, the feel of the paper. I love reading God's word, by myself or with others.

There are soooo many other things. I get excited over everything, but I miss the girl who had to wait to buy a shirt or book or whatever until it was within the budget. I miss going out to dinner being a big deal instead of the three time a day drill it has been. I love getting excited over Starbucks holiday cups, Christmas commercials, free ITunes downloads, poetry readings at coffee shops and free concerts in the park. If I died tomorrow I would remember the walks I took with my family after dinner more than what I wore during them. I don't want my life to be built around "stuff". I want my days to be about more than material possessions, and I have decided to take an active involvement in removing their importance in my life. I want to be the gypsy that says, "take it all- it's just stuff." Except my happy face sweatshirt. Take that and I'll hunt you down.